I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
