What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize