You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
