You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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