I think I am morally bankrupt
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
