Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
