i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
