He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Such a big mess for such a small penis
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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