I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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