I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
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one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
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I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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