Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"