Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!