Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?