if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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