it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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