I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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