Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
