Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
