ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
