Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
