Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
