How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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