there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
