I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
