I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
