Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
