Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
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I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
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It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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