This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
you never un-have a 4some
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
