thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Can you bring me the toilet please
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
