a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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