i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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