I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
