Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I have fence marks all over my body
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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