i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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