Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
