Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
