dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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