I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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