ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
