Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
