he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
