his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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