I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
