Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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