What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
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This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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