Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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