It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You need Xanax blowdarts
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
All the doctor said was why
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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