I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
