was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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