You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
