Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
