i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
