The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
