That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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