I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
