Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
