this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I believe in your delicious
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
